Finding My Equilibrium
by Lettuce
Summary: Severus Snape has come a long way since the end of the war. The arrival of a new researcher to the company he owns threatens to upset the delicate balance he has maintained for years.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: I'm back! This story is complete, in that I have written it in its __entirety, though I will upload as three chapters. The next chapter will be uploaded in a few days._

_As ever these characters belong to JKR and I make no money from this story. All mistakes are my own._

SS

With hindsight I suppose it may be said that I was reasonably successful up to this point in my life, even if the first thirty-eight years had been a complete and utter disaster. The three years following the Battle of Hogwarts had been… difficult.

My recovery following Nagini's attack had been slow and I'll admit that I hadn't been the most agreeable of patients. Due to my ill health, my trial in front of the Wizangamot had been delayed by months, and I found myself the last Death Eater to face judgement. It is still odd to me that the Ministry encouraged my recovery only to threaten me with my demise, but psychology is a complex subject and at the time I didn't wish to examine their choices too closely.

I was weary in more ways than one; I was in considerable pain and relied on potions just to get out of bed some days, but more importantly, to me, I was tired of life. I don't mean to suggest that I was suicidal, just that I was tired of making decisions, dealing with my perverse status as pariah to many and hero to few. It seemed that I was destined to be insulted in the street or idolised as if I were the second coming of Albus Dumbledore, and thereby, responsible for the salvation of the Wizarding World from the forces of darkness. I didn't want either of those things; I desired nothing more than to be left alone, to be permitted retreat to my house and spend the next one hundred years, or however long I was to reside in this world, in peaceful retirement.

My trial ran for seven weeks and revealed to the world my shame and humiliation. I had made Albus promise me all those years ago that my secrets would never be spoken of to anyone; in the space of just a few short weeks the little security I had in the public's ignorance of my past crumbled before my eyes. It had been noble of Mr. Potter and Mr. Ronald Weasley, amongst others, to come to my defense; particularly, as there had been no love lost between us throughout the duration our acquaintance. Albus had materialised in all his canvassed glory from beyond the veil to reveal the sordid details of our agreement. Suffice it to say that their combined efforts to see to my liberation were ultimately successful.

When I say liberation, I mean to say that I was not imprisoned in Azkaban; nevertheless, I built a prison of my own making, upon my release, in my refusal to leave my house. Minerva, to her credit, was irritatingly persistent in her attempts to bring me out into the bright new world, but I was not to be persuaded. You might be wondering how I spent those years following my acquittal, perhaps envisioning me working down in some basement laboratory, tirelessly researching and developing new potions – making the most of my freedom. If you thought this, you would be wrong. My house didn't have a basement laboratory and I was far too busy drinking myself into oblivion on a fairly frequent basis to be bothered with such frivolities. Like father, like son, they say.

Considering that my worthless father had been a drunk it is a surprising to me now that I chose to spend my time in this way, but there you have it, I have no excuses to offer other than my own sorrow. I had worked tirelessly for half of my life to protect Lily's son and defeat the Dark Lord and now that it was over, I found I had no purpose whatsoever and I sought none. I couldn't bare the looks of pity when I ventured out and found the admiration equally nauseating. Whilst my seventeen-year-old self would have enjoyed the positive attention I received; I had grown to resent it. So many had died to see to the Dark Lord's demise, whilst I had been responsible for so much suffering.

It was on the third anniversary of the end of the war that something in me changed. No, it wasn't a great epiphany as you might thought, but rather a slow realisation that I simply couldn't carry on as a had been over the last few years. Minerva had visited me, and we had spent several hours talking of some of our more pleasant memories when she, out of the blue, offered me a position teaching at the school. I hadn't laughed so hard in years. Thankfully, she understood why I found the idea so preposterous, though she lamented her inability to secure the services of a competent Master of Potions.

"You must be truly desperate if you are asking _me,_" I commented while sipping at my hot mug of tea.

She didn't reply but sighed and shook her head slightly. I didn't have the courage to ask her what she meant by the gesture.

Over the next several months I slowly ventured out into the big wide world, choosing my engagements and destinations carefully. I went for long walks across the Yorkshire Dales, enjoying the beauty of the countryside and the simplicity of walking. Perhaps the fresh air was cathartic after the years staring at the same few walls, for the first time in such a long time, I felt alive. I found a sense of wonder the smallest of things and it wasn't long before I found myself attending a small potions conference in Manchester out of nothing more than curiosity.

It was four months later at a larger conference in London that I met a former student of mine, Garrick Newbourne. Though I had not considered Garrick to be a particularly talented student of potions, it appeared that he had enjoyed the subject and had a previously untapped aptitude for research. After his N.E.W.T's he had worked his way up to a senior researcher position at St Mungos but now felt that he had reached his ceiling in an institution where no one ever moved on. It may shock you to learn that I am not one for idle or pointless conversation and so I found I enjoyed Garrick's enthusiasm as it pertained to the art of potion making and his talent for avoiding all conversation relating to the past. A long-buried interest of mine was about to be reborn.

I had always had a rather effortless ability when it came to potions which I attributed to spending much of my childhood with books in the relatively safely of my bedroom rather than out socialising with other children of my own age. My mother had chastised me for it on more than one occasion, but I couldn't help my natural inclination. Perhaps I would not have met Lily if my mother had not snatched away one of my books and forced me outside for some fresh air, 'like normal children'.

After just five months of our acquaintance Garrick came to me with a proposal – the opening of a private research facility. I almost dropped my pint on the pub's flagstone floor, such was my astonishment that he would come to me, of all people, with such a plan. Nevertheless, he eventually talked me into a significant financial commitment to the project and a new career at the same time. It was fortunate for him that I wasn't a particularly extravagant person and had accumulated a reasonable savings over the years.

Several years later I now find myself co-owner of the largest private research laboratory in the United Kingdom. We employ twelve members of staff at _Ratio Research Centre_. The name was Garrick's choice and I found I really couldn't have cared less which moniker he adored across the company letterhead. Garrick is a modest man in his late thirties with blond hair and blue eyes and a face I have been told numerous times is considered to be handsome. I do not find much remarkable in his features; I do not say this with the intention of being unkind, only honest. The feature I notice the most is the insufferable smile which is plastered across his face almost constantly and the round wire-framed glasses he has recently come to wear on a more regular basis. I, Severus Snape, am much the same as I ever have been.

SS

"I go away for three weeks and I find _that_ sitting in my office." I had shouted at Garrick pointing at the inside of my now closed office door.

Garrick had the temerity to smile. "We agreed that I would be responsible for the hiring of all new employees. I believe you insisted upon it."

He was right of course, and I detested the very idea of it even in that moment. "I would have appreciated the courtesy of at least being consulted!"

"You were in Guyana; how do you expect me to contact you?"

I walked behind my desk and sat down in my comfortable leather desk chair and felt my jaw clench with the anger and tension.

"She has impeccable references and a broad range of experience," he added calmly. "Not only that, but her interview was perfect."

I glanced up at Garrick and continued to express my annoyance.

"Of course, it bloody well was, that girl is the greatest know-it-all the Wizarding World had ever produced," I replied bitterly, clutching at the arms of my chair tightly.

To his credit Garrick knew that my bark was worse than my bite and tolerated my outbursts of anger with reasonable humour, much to my irritation.

A short silence was broken by my heavy sigh. "Garrick, I need her out of here, I cannot have her working here every bloody day."

He pulled out the chair and sat down. "This is about the war."

I knew by his tone that he wasn't making a suggestion; though we never spoke of it, he was perceptive and observant enough to know that I avoided almost everything, and everyone, connected to that period of my life. Mr. Potter had accused me of cowardice once, an accusation I resolutely rejected, but I found that moment often replayed in my mind in times such as these when I had what was essentially a crisis of confidence.

I rubbed my fingers across my forehead in an attempt to sooth away the oncoming headache. "What is her experience?" I asked eventually.

As turned out she was probably overqualified for the position Garrick had offered to her at our establishment. Following her training at the hands of Regulus Moonshine, no less, she'd been working in France as Head of Research and Development in the laboratory of Thibault Tugwood, nephew of Sacharissa Tugwood, and the largest maker of beautifying potion in all of Europe.

"What in Merlin's name is she doing here?" I asked incredulously. "She could go out and find employment in any number of laboratories across Europe."

Garrick removed his glasses and polished them slowly with his handkerchief. "She wanted to be closer to her family. That's what she told me."

I would have paid to move her bloody family to France for her if I had known she'd show up on my doorstep.

"I won't be changing my mind, Severus. Hermione is staying and I know she is going to be a great asset to the company and to our work here. You're rarely even out on the laboratory floor, I am sure you will learn to tolerate her working here the same way you tolerate the presence of everyone."

Then he bloody well smirked and I wanted to hex him into next week for his cheek.

Garrick stood and pushed the chair towards the desk. "Now, I am going to give you five minutes to compose yourself and then I am going to bring Hermione in here to meet her new employer and he is going to welcome her to the company and encourage her success." With a self-satisfied flourish he turned and walked out of the office, carefully closing the paneled oak door behind him.

I growled.

It was a fire-whiskey in hand that invited the girl into my office and attempted to make polite conversation. I did as Garrick had bade and welcomed her to the team and wished her luck.

To her credit she carried herself with confidence and made no mention of our previous association. I had taught many of our employees, so you may be wondering what made her so special as to be singled out as a student I wished to avoid. I had asked myself the same question but found the answer clouded behind the face of Harry bloody Potter.

I couldn't look at her and not be reminded of every moment of the years the Boy-Who-Lived walked amongst us in that castle. I thought back to all that I had endured and all that others endured due to my mistakes. I had worked very hard to move on and forge a life for myself - one which garnered reasonably little attention. Unless you worked in potions you would scarcely know I was still alive. Then of course there was the simple fact that she had been there, at that moment when I had almost died, when Nagini had ripped open my throat.

"Welcome, Miss Granger, we wish you every success."

"I am very glad to join your team here, Mr. Snape," she had offered as she had sat down opposite me in the chair Garrick had recently vacated.

I found myself tapping the arm of my own chair, restlessly with my finger, whilst attempting to be as polite as Garrick had requested. "We are fortunate to have secured your services."

She lifted her chin and countered with an amused quirk of her lips. "I know you have reservations of my being here, let's not pretend that you're enthusiastic about my appointment."

My eyebrow rose of its own volition, it appeared she had overheard my conversation with Garrick.

"I am not afraid of hard work and I will ensure that I prove to be an asset and see that you have no regrets in giving in to Mr. Newbourne's wish to see me situated here."

The cheek of the wench, to insinuate that I had simply given in.

"Do you have any questions you would like to ask me?" she queried. "If not, I will return back to the laboratory, if you don't mind, of course."

I shook my head and gestured at the door urging her exit.

After she had closed the door, I immediately concluded that she was still an insufferable know-it-all.

SS

Several months later as I reviewed our quarterly figures, I grudgingly had to admit that Granger's appointment _had_ had a positive effect on our business. Two of our five major projects were ahead of schedule and due to move to the hospital for patient trails. Bloody overachievers. I knew I would be eating a thick slice of humble pie as Garrick waved his 'I told you so' flag over my head at our weekly meeting the following day.

I looked over to the clock hanging over my office door and noted that it was almost seven o'clock in the evening. I dropped my quill, gathered my cloak and carried it over my arm before heading out of my office and through to the laboratory. Immediately I noticed Granger sitting on the far side of the room surrounded by parchment and a solitary simmering cauldron. For a few moments I observed, curious as to why she should still be working when the rest of the staff had returned home. With her hair neatly tied away from her face I noticed her concentration as she made notes and referred to an open book set upon the bench.

It wasn't often I saw her working - I spent little time out in the laboratory as it was informally considered to be Garrick's territory. I was the partner more concerned with securing contracts, balancing our books and general management of the company – the big picture as it were. Garrick headed the laboratory to keep my unpleasant disposition from driving the staff away and setting us on the path to ruin.

I watched her for only a few minutes before I considered how strange it was to be observing her thusly. I don't know what I was looking for as I observed, only that I was a curious being as most people interested in experimentation and discovery tend to be. She must have noticed as I finally turned to walk up the stairs and leave.

"Mr. Snape," she called. "Have you been working late? I didn't know you were still here."

I paused and turned back to her, walking slowly to the bench at which she had been sitting. "I was preparing some figures for tomorrow." I replied unnecessarily.

She nodded before glancing at the simmering contents of the cauldron.

"What do we have here?" I asked, gesturing to the heavy iron receptacle. Apparently, I couldn't resist.

"I have been running a few tests with different bases for the Castleford project. "Our traditional base isn't offering consistent results and I can't put my finger on why."

Like a moth to a flame I glanced at the soft orange surface of the liquid potion, not observing anything unusual. "You used dogwood?" I asked.

She tapped the parchment with the tip of her quill, pointing to a line of text. "Yes, three pinches in part one and four in part two."

Interesting, dogwood was not a particularly difficult ingredient to work with and gave pleasingly consistent results. "Have you considered adding Elderberry?"

A frown formed on her face, "Don't you think that's an aggressive alternative? Aren't you worried about instability?"

I set my cloak on the empty bench behind me and gestured for her to pass me the parchment she had been annotating. After a few minutes of consideration, during which she managed to wait patiently in blessed silence – Merlin be praised. "Add one. Dried. I highly doubt it will prove potent enough to trouble you."

I handed her back her notes and collected my cloak, all the while watching the wheels of her mind turn as she considered my advice.

"Goodnight, Miss Granger."


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: It is so nice to have a story written and be able to update frequently without frantic bouts of writing! Chapter 3 is the the largest chapter and will be uploaded in a few days :)_

_Thank you so much to those who have taken the time to review, follow or favourite, your support is deeply appreciated!_

SS

A whole two weeks had passed before I had the opportunity to speak to her again; or should I say, she had the opportunity to demand my time. I had been returning to the office after a particularly difficult meeting at the hospital, but the less said about that the better. As I descended the stairs and made for my office, I heard her call my name.

"Mr. Snape, do you have a few minutes?"

My first instinct was to tell her to consult with Garrick if she required any assistance but, yet again, my curiosity got the better of me and I turned.

"I wanted to talk to you about the base I was working with the other week," she began, "your suggestion of the Elderberry offered some interesting results."

I raised an enquiring eyebrow.

"It was actually more stable than I had expected and we're going to move on to the next phase of the project."

"That is good news indeed, Miss Granger." I replied. "I know that Garrick is particularly interested in that project and would like to see progress as soon as possible."

She nodded thoughtfully. "Yes, we've spoken at length about it and it's my number one priority at the moment."

Briefly I thought of replying with a sarcastic comment, but for some unknown reason I couldn't be bothered and opted for a nod of acknowledgment and continued to my office, shutting the door behind me.

As the weeks continued to progress, I frequently found Miss Granger and my business partner Garrick working together in the laboratory as I left the office for in the evening. Clearly, they were both driven personalities striving towards their goal and I was pleased that Garrick had found someone similar to himself. A pair of Know-It-Alls, obviously.

Their combined effort was bearing fruit and I was pleased to be able to attend partnership meetings with the Castleford Agency and present their progress and the more than satisfactory results thus far. Bassingbourne Castleford was a well-known name in the sphere of recreational potions and to have been trusted with one of his endeavors was something of a coup for us considering medicinal potions was more in line with our reputation and expertise.

On a wet Thursday afternoon Garrick came bursting into my office, elated, as their first trial has been successful. "Hermione is so innovative, Severus!" he exclaimed. "She's been opening my eyes with this project, you know?"

I involuntarily clenched my jaw. All our researchers were competent, I failed to see what was so special about Miss Granger.

Garrick must have noticed my reaction for he laughed. "You will learn to appreciate her, Severus, I know you will, just you wait."

'Just you wait'. Indeed, my friend.

The successful end of the project several months later was met with elation and celebration amongst our research staff. Usually, upon completion Garrick would accompany me to our partner's premises for the final meeting to present our work and close the project. On this occasion Garrick felt that Miss Granger's contribution to the team's success was such that she should make the final presentation. I rolled my eyes at the suggestion but I recognised her contribution and couldn't deny her the opportunity to own her research.

And so it was that I found myself spending the two weeks prior to our presentation in the conference room with Miss Granger and Garrick, working through our findings and fine tuning our delivery.

I learned a great deal about Miss Granger in those weeks. In many was she was as she had ever been: much too eager to impress and to gain the approval of her peers. In other ways she was much changed: open to suggestion and keen to listen and learn. It was during these weeks that I realised that I no longer resented her presence and had accepted her as… not exactly an equal, but as an asset to our team.

"Would care to go for a drink after we're finished here?" Garrick asked after our final meeting.

"If I must," I replied.

"I'll see if Hermione would like to join us," he added following my reply.

"If you must."

Never in my life did I envision a scenario which would see me seated at circular oak table in the corner of the Merry Mooncalf with Garrick, Miss Granger and a pint of best bitter.

"I can't thank you both enough for bringing me on board," she enthused between sips of her gin and tonic. "I have really loved my time working with you; it's been a real challenge, especially considering my previous area of expertise had been beautifying potions. It's really very different."

I watched as Garrick's eyes lit up with excitement and pride. "We've achieved a lot in the last few months, you're right to be proud of your achievements."

Miss Granger blushed, which was interesting. "I couldn't have gotten this far without you."

I suddenly felt like the gooseberry, which was odd considering I hadn't read any interest, other than professional, between either of them in the time we had been working together. They had worked together closely and so it made some sense to me that they would have grown close. I had always assumed Miss Granger would end up married to that insipid Weasley boy.

Garrick had always been popular with the opposite sex but hadn't committed to a witch as far as I was aware. I thought he would be a good match for Miss Granger in my estimation – both of them were bookish overachievers.

"Well, I had better be going, thank you for the drink, Garrick. I will would be more than happy to reciprocate next time." Having finished my drink, I arose from my chair and settled my cloak over my shoulders."

"Are you heading for the Apparition Point?" Miss Granger asked.

"Indeed."

"I'll come with you if you don't mind." I knew immediately it was a rhetorical question, as I watched her down the last of her drink in one gulp and sling ger bag over her shoulder. "I will see you on Monday," she added to Garrick.

I looked over at Garrick and noticed the amused look plastered upon his face as Miss Granger made to follow me out of the pub.

"I am really very excited about Monday's presentation." She enthused as we walked together. "It will be the first presentation I have made outside of my own organisation. Mr. Tugwood took care of these things at my previous place."

"The first of many I am sure, Garrick is rightfully proud of your achievements," I realised my mistake in praising her efforts so boldly, as soon as I looked down at her face – she was smiling broadly.

"Do you really think so?" she asked.

"I am not in the habit of handing out false praise, as I am sure you are aware." I had dug myself into a proper hole.

"No." I noticed her rueful smile. "Some may say you're not one for handing out praise at all."

You might have thought I would have taken her comment as an insult, but I knew from her tone that she was merely attempting to tease.

"Mind your cheek, Miss Granger," I replied, evenly.

She threw her had back and laughed.

SS

Several months after the successful completion of the Castleford project I found her bouncing into my office on a daily basis with questions, suggestions and commentary galore. On several occasions I found myself drawn into lengthy debate and admonishing myself for sharing with her my valuable time. The worst of it was that I actually enjoyed our discussions, but I kept this knowledge to myself.

On a wet and dreary Thursday afternoon in November she came waltzing through my office door, uninvited, with a mug of tea in each hand and roll of parchment under her arm. Without a word said from me she sat herself down opposite me and pushed one of the mugs in my direction.

"I made you a tea," she said as she unfurled the roll of parchment along my desk. "I've been working on Kingsborough and I think you'll find this interesting."

"Go and bother Garrick with this, I don't get involve in the practicalities," I scolded. I simply couldn't have her interrupting me like this any longer.

"You'll see here from the last round of trials that just three pinches the ground yarrow root yielded results twelve percent higher than expected. _Twelve percent!_" She emphasised, tapping the parchment excitedly.

I sat back in my chair, pointedly ignoring the document. "As I have already stated, this is Garrick's area, I don't want to know the details, I am interested only in the end results."

Miss Granger cast a wry smile at me from across the desk. "So, that'll be why you left me those notes last week?"

I frowned.

Yes, in a fit of apparent insanity I had visited her workstation while she had been at lunch and left her some of my own notes for consideration. Garrick had mentioned yarrow root to me in relation to the project the day before and I took it upon myself to 'assist'.

"I don't know why you hide away in here all the time," she continued. "No disrespect to Mr. Newbourne, but you should be out there, getting involved in the day-to-day experimentation. I feel like you know so much that you don't share with the rest of us."

"I am where I desire to be, Miss Granger."

"Managing the accounts." It was her turn to frown. "I don't believe it."

"I don't care what you choose to believe." I retorted. "Your beliefs are of no concern to me; in fact, I could scarcely be less interested. Now, run along, Miss Granger, there are cauldrons needing your attention."

It was then that I noticed a shine in her eyes that I hadn't observed before – a sort of defiant amusement - she was toying with me.

"We have a problem then," she smiled, yet again. It was becoming a habit.

"Do we indeed?" I felt a degree of trepidation as I asked the question.

Miss Granger looked down at her protective blue laboratory robes and picked a piece of lint from her knee. "You are a very interesting man, Mr. Snape. I have enjoyed our talks, but I feel as if there a still a great deal I can learn from you."

I am certain my eyebrows climbed up my forehead, several inches. I knew the girl had a thirst for knowledge, but I wasn't expecting her attempt to pull me out of my comfortable office.

"I'd like us to work on this project together," she added after a pause.

"I do _not_ carry out the experimental work, if you'd like a laboratory partner then I suggest you ask Garrick." They seemed fond of each other and I had no desire to stand over a steaming cauldron for hours listening to Miss Granger prattle on endlessly about this ingredient and that interaction.

"I have already spoken to him and it was actually his suggestion."

"I beg your pardon." I was floored, which isn't an easy feat. Why would he make such a ridiculous suggestion? From the beginning of our partnership, Garrick had known I was not interested in the practical side of the business.

"After I discussed your notes on the yarrow root with him, he thought it might be a good idea to bring you in to the loop, as it were," she looked across at me pleadingly. "I would really appreciate the opportunity to work with you."

"Listen to me very carefully, Miss Granger, for I will not repeat myself. The answer is, _no_."

SS

Naturally I found myself just a few days after that conversation standing at Miss Granger's workstation, dangling a rat's spleen over her cauldron while she glared daggers at me. Apparently, it wasn't 'obvious' that spleen of a rat would be less likely to interfere with the interaction between the toad's eyes and the foxglove, than that of the vole's spleen. I could see that Miss Granger was furious. I was having the time of my life.

"If you put that spleen even another centimeter near that cauldron, I won't be responsible for my reaction," she hissed.

I raised an enquiring eyebrow and lowered my hand slightly, daring her to follow through with her threats.

"Severus," called Garrick from a few benches away. "Stop teasing."

I looked over at him and cast a feral grin. This was what he wanted and so I would do my best, as promised, to assist with this project. By hook or by crook we would be successful, and I was owed a little fun along the way.

"I need to discuss the theory of your choices before you start throwing ingredients in there! How many times do I need to repeat myself?" Miss Granger crossed her arms and huffed. "I'm not going to learn anything if you just tear into everything and throw things into that cauldron, willy-nilly!"

I was vaguely aware that everyone in the room had stopped mid-activity to stare at the two of us. I rarely spoke to our employees and I rather felt that they preferred it to be that way and I am quite sure they were more than surprised to hear that I would do anything, 'willy-nilly'. For the record, I would not.

I sighed and placed the spleen back on my chopping board before reaching for a piece of scrap parchment and drawing a diagram to explain my theory. Just few minutes later I received Miss Granger's approval of my choice and dropped the controversial spleen into the simmering liquid.

"Now, we wait." I announced.

Over the next several days I found myself less interested in irritating Miss Granger and more so in our little project. The two of us spent most of our day engrossed in our research and what had been interesting discussions in my office just a few weeks earlier were now what Garrick termed, 'Intellectual Marathons'. Reluctantly I found I was enjoying my time spent on practical research, much more so than I could have expected. In the years since the end of the war I had read many periodicals and so was not ignorant in the most up to date research, I simply had not applied that knowledge, and until now, I hadn't felt the need.

Yet again, and much to my disappointment, I found myself enjoying my time spent with Miss Granger during our intellectual endeavors and on occasion we even managed to pull Garrick into our debates. In doing so I began to wonder why Garrick had intended that Miss Granger and I would work together on this project. I decided to confront him during our next weekly progress meeting and did not miss the opportunity to attempt to coax a confession.

"You're making strides on the Kingsborough project, Severus. You must be several weeks ahead of the project schedule, at least."

"Well," I began taking a deep breath, "they say that two heads are better than one and so you can hardly be surprised. Tell me, Garrick, what's going on?"

Garrick removed his spectacles and chuckled. "Nothing is going on, I just felt that Hermione could use a little help with this one. I am up to my eyeballs and you're sitting in this cosy little office when you could be out there helping." He gestured to the laboratory.

"You do realise that I have work to do, do you not?"

"Of course." His reply was earnest. "But I can see that Hermione enjoys working with you and I think we have proved that your styles complement each other."

"We argue all the time." It was true, we rarely agreed and took every opportunity to question each other's work.

"Yes, but you're pushing each other."

He had a point; we were both trying to surpass the other and find ways innovative solutions. I growled in response - I had a sincere dislike for being out maneuvered.

"You could have simply asked for my assistance instead of bringing Miss Granger into it and getting her to do your dirty work."

"Oh really," he rolled his eyes. "There's no way you have ever agreed if I had asked you."

"What do you mean by that?" I threw my quill on the desk in front of me.

Garrick laughed, again. "Only that you have a soft spot for her, who else could come in here and have you up in arms about the five uses of hyssop and still come walking out with a smile on her face."

I didn't like the direction the conversation was heading. "I would be very careful, Garrick." I warned.

He appeared to sober before raising his hands in defeat. "Whatever you say."

SS

A seed once sown and sprinkled even with a little water, will grow. Just a few days later I sat behind my desk, my door closed, staring off into the distance, considering the conversation regarding Miss Granger. I was not in the laboratory as she had taken the day off for some outing which she had planned with one of her friends. It had been a relief, to say the least.

I hadn't felt attracted to another living person for longer than she had been alive. What did that say about me? Certainly, for most of that time I was busy sorting out the mess I had created, but what of the years since? My racing mind wasn't particularly focused on her, rather, my conversation with Garrick had prompted me wonder if I was even capable of being 'fond' of someone. I was quite sure I had not inspired sincere romantic feelings in another person.

Obviously, Garrick seemed to think I was capable of those tender feelings but what had prompted him to imply such things to me? I wanted to know but I dare not broach the subject for fear of giving him reason to believe he had been correct. Was I giving the impression that I was interested in Miss Granger as more than an employee and research partner? Was she interested in me? _Merlin forbid!_

Upon her return it became apparent that I had been obsessing over the subject and it was festering like an old wound. I became especially careful in our interactions while we worked and paid particular attention to Garrick, wondering if he was observing us as we worked. Not only that, but I began to notice things about her that I hadn't noticed before; such as the way she bit her lip when she was concentrating, the strands of her hair that fell from her clip to frame her face and the ink which stained her fingers after a day of note-taking. I feared I was losing my mind.

Was noticing these things considered to be attraction or was I simply looking for things that may be considered so, simply because the suggestion had been made to me? Her interactions with me hadn't changed, as far as I was aware.

We were nearing the end of our project when the final trials were only a week from completion.

"How about we all go out for dinner or a drink once we're done?" She had suggested. "What about next Friday?"

I turned my head from the cauldron I had been observing to look in her direction, hoping that my feelings of discomfort were not displayed upon my face. Before I could reply, Garrick agreed it would be a wonderful idea and I had scarcely drawn another breath before the whole team were agreed that an outing next Friday to the Merry Mooncalf would be a splendid idea.

"Don't you think so, Severus?" I heard Garrick ask from across the room.

"Indeed." I replied after a pause.

I looked back to Miss Granger and was alarmed at the broad smile she cast in my direction. I was a fly caught in a spider's web.


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: The final chapter is here. Again, thank you to all who have reviewed, favourited and followed, your support is much appreciated._

SS

As I opened the door to the Merry Mooncalf and made my way towards our group, who were huddled around two large tables at the back of the room, I felt uncomfortable, to say the least. The project was now completed, and our partner was particularly pleased with our results and had taken care to point out the innovative nature of our work. Naturally, Garrick had suggested that Miss Granger and I work together on other projects and she had been quick to agree with his assessment. I, on the other hand, was not as enthusiastic, for obvious reasons.

I considered that another overseas trip, under the guise of research or forging contacts for rare and exotic ingredients, would be perfectly timed. I felt the need to put some distance between us and gain some perspective. Sadly, on that evening, the Fates had other ideas as the only chair left at the table was conveniently located between Miss Granger and one of our senior technicians, Cecily Swaledale. I audibly groaned.

"Severus, I took the liberty of getting you a firewhiskey." Garrick called out to me as I approached the group.

I tried not to notice Miss Granger as she turned around to look at me. "Good evening, Mr. Snape." Her greeting, however, made it impossible for me to ignore her and so I nodded an acknowledgement.

In our years as a company we had never meet outside of the office as a collective and I found it somewhat awkward at first as it became obvious that I knew nothing of my employees and so found conversation difficult. It was plain that they weren't overly keen to engage with me, not that I was bothered by this fact, I was simply more aware. Garrick on the other hand was in his element, talking about all manner of things with a group of people he knew well. His casual ease with people was one of the many ways we were different. Where I was cautious and suspicious, he was keen and accepting.

Miss Swaledale made an admirable attempt to engage with me regrding Kingsborough and I was impressed with her depth of knowledge on the subject and some her insightful observations. She was a credit to the team Garrick had assembled. I didn't voice my opinion aloud, however, it simply wasn't my way.

As the evening progressed, I had tried not to notice that Miss Granger had spent much of the time engaged in conversation with one of our other researchers, Hannibal Hornbeam, which incidentally, always seemed to me to be a ridiculous name. Yes, I do appreciate the irony.

Despite not deliberately attempting to listen to their conversation I learnt that Mr. Hornbeam had a sister who worked with Miss. Granger's ex-boyfriend, one Mr. Ronald Weasley. The magical world is rather small and as a result it is not particularly usual to find connections in this way; nevertheless, the fact irked me for reasons I preferred not to analyse at the time.

The pair talked over a great many topics, from their respective work, books, travel and the Muggle World. Occasionally she would laugh in a way which drew my attention despite my efforts to ignore it. In fact, it became such an irritant that I deliberately went to order another round of drinks for the table simply for some respite. I was at a loss as to why she was irritating me so and was eager to see the evening concluded.

On my way back to the table from the men's room I found myself accosted by Miss. Granger.

"Hello." She looked to the floor and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, I knew this to be a nervous gesture. "You've been a bit quiet this evening."

"I wasn't aware I was being monitored." I replied, snidely. I was quite put out that she would say such a thing to me, who was she to have an opinion on such a subject? Whether I chose to speak, or not, was my own business.

Evidently my reply, meant to sting, seemed to amuse and I considered that our having worked closely together now meant that my once sharp tongue was blunt where she was concerned. The alternative, of course, was that she was inebriated.

"You know, you don't have to try and frighten everyone away all the time. I know things haven't always been easy but maybe you should let people in a little."

My eyes may very well have leapt out of their sockets, though I hoped I didn't advertise my shock at her audacity. "Perhaps you should concentrate on your own affairs and leave me to my own," I snapped.

To my horror she reached across the short distance between us and grasped my elbow. "I would like to be your friend, Severus."

I was taken aback, what was I supposed to say to such a declaration? There had been precious few people in my life whom I had considered a friend and only one of those had been a member of the opposite sex. I was acutely aware of how that had ended and with the recent state of my mind I was none too keen to explore a friendship with this woman. After a moment of silence, I realised that she had addressed me by my first name. I immediately concluded that she _was_ inebriated.

"Go back and sit with Mr. Hornbeam, Miss Granger." I was not unkind, but I wished to end the conversation.

Surprisingly she nodded and moved past me towards the facilities, but not before flashing me another one of her amused looks. Much too much of a Gryffindor by half, I concluded.

It was at least another ninety minutes of inane conversation before I felt able to take my leave as Miss Swaledale and a couple of the technicians bade us a goodnight, Mr. Hornbeam was soon to follow.

With at least four firewhiskies in my stomach I paid one last visit to the W.C. before returning to find Miss Granger putting on her coat, the others having already departed. I watched as she struggled to slide her hand into the correct sleeve and ended up with her coat a forty-five-degree angle. Ever the gentleman I moved to assist.

"Oh, thank you," she laughed. "Apparently this is more difficult than I remember."

"Are you a witch, or aren't you?" I asked, amused. The whiskey having relaxed my worried mind to some degree. I maneuvered the garment appropriately and saw to it that she was dressed correctly.

"Well obviously I am, but, you know, circumstances being what they are, I'm… um, not quite at my best," again she giggled before reaching back to the table for her bag. As she pulled at the handle it swung forward and hit the back of one of the chairs, causing it to clatter on the flagstone floor. Merlin only knew what she carried in her bag to turn it into a red and gold paisley wreaking ball.

"Oops," she laughed while glancing over at the barman, clearly embarrassed.

I set the chair back in its rightful place at the table. "How many have you had?" I asked, my voice lowered for her ears alone.

"A few. Oh, I don't know, Hannibal bought a couple, one from Garrick and one from you." She commented thoughtfully. "Oh, and Cecily bought a round, and I got one when I arrived."

It shouldn't be enough elf-made wine to pull one off the rails; nevertheless, it was clearly enough to give her a fit of the giggles and strip away any semblance of spatial awareness.

"How are you getting home?" I asked, desperately hoping she would reply that someone was going to come and pick her up and see her safely home. She replied by looking at me blankly and shaking her head. I had no idea who passed as her close friends these days and so, with grim resignation, I offered to escort her home.

"Come along then, you will need to give the direction to your hom and I will _Apparate_ us, side-a-long."

I noted that she followed obediently as I made my way out of the pub and across the road to a cobbled alley, from where we would make our departure.

"Where I am taking you, Miss Granger?"

"Are you sure you don't mind? You don't have to bother, you know."

I sighed. "Tell me where you live." I asked pointedly. I wasn't about to get into a to-and-fro on the matter.

She stepped forward and clasped my elbow, this time, beneath my travelling cloak; I found it an intimate gesture and tried to remember the last time I had cause to _Apparate_ with another person. It simply wasn't something I had cause to do at all.

"Strathmore Gardens, Kensington."

Kensington? We must be paying her too much, I thought.

I concentrated on our destination and transported us both to the garden behind a row of immaculately presented Georgian houses.

"My flat is just over here."

I followed mutely along behind as she led me across the grass and through a green paneled door and into a stairwell embellished with green and white Victorian wall and floor tiles.

"I'm on the first floor."

Again, I followed until we climbed the stairs and reached a black door emblazoned with a brass doorknocker and the figures, '1A' underneath, also made of brass. It wasn't until I had stepped over the threshold and she had divested me of my traveling cloak that I realised where I was and with whom. My curiosity had obviously overridden my caution and I mentally chastised myself for it. That being said, as I found myself in situ, I thought that I may as well let matters take their chosen course.

As I wandered around her compact living room, inspecting the photographs of her family and friends, placed orderly on the fireplace mantle, she waltzed in from what I assumed was the kitchen with a bottle of wine in hand.

"I found this in the cupboard." She waved the bottle at me and brandished two wine glasses. "Take a seat."

I looked around the small room and opted for the soft furnished chair situated next to the sofa. As she poured the wine, I took the opportunity to observe her features; perhaps for the first time, I allowed myself that luxury.

It was rare that I ever saw her with her hair down and this evening was no exception. As ever it was held up with a simple tortoiseshell clip; even then, I thought how odd it was that I had noticed such a thing. Her face was slightly flushed; perhaps it was the heat of the room, or even the alcohol. The V-neck of her dusky pink jumper accentuated the length of her neck. Without warning I found myself imaging my placing delicate kisses from the top of her collar bone up to her ear.

"Here you go!'

I was saved from my own traitorous thoughts by her exclamation.

The wine was pleasant, and I enjoyed our easy conversation, which pulled my mind away from its inappropriate path. The months we had spent working together had laid the foundations for a comradery I had not expected. She told me of her time working in France and her tutelage under Regulus Moonshine. In turn, I regaled her with tales of my own training and my experiences as the youngest teacher at a Scottish boarding school in several centuries.

We managed to finish the bottle of wine surprisingly quickly and so I felt it appropriate to take my leave and call it a night. I had enjoyed myself in the quiet company of a woman for the first time in decades and I couldn't tell you how surprised I was to find that Miss Granger, was the woman in question. I probably should have been concerned that she'd drank over a bottle of wine over the course of the evening, but she seemed relaxed.

"Let me grab your cloak," she offered, opening a cupboard in the hallway and retrieving the garment.

I pulled it over my shoulders and fixed the clasp. "This evening has been pleasant; I wish you a good weekend." I reached backwards for the door handle with which to let myself out, with my right hand, at the same time as I felt a tug in the opposite direction on my left. I looked down to see both of her hands encircling my wrist, before dropping it like hot coals.

"Sorry!" I immediately noticed her blush as she looked away.

"Miss Granger?" I asked.

"Look, I know I am going to regret this but, if you like… you can… stay the night." I noticed, even in my shock, that she stumbled over her words. "Oh, God…" she held her face in her hands, obviously mortified and flew away towards the kitchen.

I was petrified to the spot as I processed what had happened and I couldn't quite believe that she had propositioned me. My first thought was to leave and pretend it had never happened and then I thought of _Obliviating_ her to save her the embarrassment of recalling the event in the morning. I got as far as opening the door a few inches before I reminded myself that I owed her more than the humiliation she was probably experiencing. Without knowing what I would say, I followed her path of flight and did, indeed, find myself in the kitchen where she was leaning back against the counter-top, next to the sink, with her head in her hands.

"I _am_ flattered you would ask such a thing of me," I heard myself say, "but I would be the worst of men to take advantage of you."

She lifted her head and I saw the tears in her eyes. "I'll hand in my notice to Garrick on Monday."

"I beg your pardon?" I snapped. I was irritated by the very suggestion.

"I can hardly stay now!" she exclaimed.

"Why ever not?" I asked, "we are both adults. We are not at the office and nothing has happened."

I watched her approach as she moved to stand before me and look me in the eyes. "But I want it to, so much."

"You're drunk." It was the first thought that entered my panicked mind. I had no idea how to handle such a declaration as no one had ever said such a thing to me before then. Besides which, it was true.

"I am attracted to you, Severus," she replied, bluntly. "Yes, I _am_ probably a little drunk, but the wine isn't going to change how to feel. This isn't something that just popped into my head. I've felt this way for months."

My second thought was how unbelievable this conversation had become. I had not, to my knowledge, encouraged her in any way and until now, I hadn't read any interest from her in her any of our previous interactions. That she would, so brashly, tell me this was unexpected to say the least.

"Oh God!" she exclaimed for a second time. "I think I'm going to be sick!"

I watched mutely as she flew past me and into the loo located in the hallway around the corner from the kitchen. No sooner had I heard the door close behind her did I hear a violent retching from the other side. It was my turn to hold my head in my hands; what was I to do now? I could hardly walk out and leave her in such a state. I wasn't even certain of my own feelings anymore and part of me wanted to continue our conversation.

I turned the corner and stood outside the bathroom door. "Miss Granger, are you alright?"

More retching was the most immediate reply, following by a what I thought was a garbled apology of some sort. After a few moments of silence, I pushed the door open to find her sitting on the floor, next to the pedestal sink.

"You must think I'm a right idiot." As I considered my reply she continued, "I don't think I should have mixed the elf-made wine with that Merlot."

I couldn't help but laugh quietly. "I don't suppose you have any Sober-Up in any of these cupboards?"

She shook her head. "I don't keep it because I drink so rarely, as you can see."

I held out my hand and helped her up from the floor. "Are you feeling better?"

"Yes, thank you," she replied, sheepishly. "You must think I'm a right idiot," she seemed to have developed a habit of repeating herself.

"You're not an _idiot_," I replied. "Go and freshen up and I will get you a glass of water."

She nodded and walked past me before I headed to the kitchen to prepare a glass of water. It took me a few moments to find where she stored her glasses, by the time I made my way back to the lounge, she had changed into a plain grey t-shirt and some loose-fitting black trousers.

"Thank you for the water." She took the proffered glass and sipped as she took a seat in the middle of her sofa.

I thought back on her earlier declaration and asked myself how I felt about this woman. I finally admitted that I did find her attractive and I also found her interesting, unlike so many people of my acquaintance. The question sucking all the air from the room was: did I want to disrupt everything I had built over the last several years to explore the possibility of a relationship with her? Did she even want a relationship?

"I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, Severus."

The use of my given name pulled me from my thoughts. "I am not uncomfortable," I lied. "It's simply a lot of information to process." Which was true.

"You've been on my mind a lot recently, not only because I like you, but because we have known each other for a long time," she began. "I suppose that should make things easier, but it doesn't because of you having been my teacher, there's the war, you're my boss, not to mention the age difference."

I clasped my hands behind my back and nodded, allowing her the opportunity to speak.

"Plus, I know a great deal about some of the things you have done in the past, which doesn't bother me," she was quick to add. "But I know you have been hurt a great deal and I don't know if that is something you are able to look past or even, you're over it… over her."

Lily. I still thought of Lily frequently, though perhaps not as much as I had in the past. Of course, she would come up in conversation as Miss Granger… Hermione, knew much of my love for Lily Evans.

"I just really like you," she added, her posture advertising her feeling of defeat. "I can't help how I feel."

I tried to imagine how _I_ would feel at this moment if my life hadn't been a mess of lost love and longing. When I had been at my lowest, memories of Lily and my determination to right the wrongs I had inflicted upon the world helped me to keep going. Even when I thought I was dying on the floor of the Shrieking Shack it was the thought that I might see her and apologise that had allowed me to face death unafraid.

But I knew, and had known for some time, that I didn't want to feel that way again. I didn't want to feel hopelessness; which was difficult, as it was this very emotion which I associated with every person I had cared ever about, throughout my life. In an alternate reality I would probably have already been honest with Hermione Granger. It was with this thought in my mind that I finally spoke.

"I don't want to live in the past anymore." I removed my cloak, placed on the coffee table and moved to sit beside her on the sofa for the first time. Her look of hope spurred me on. "Your declaration, while more than a little surprising, is not… unwanted."

'It isn't?" She turned to me in surprise and for the first time since she had invited me to stay the night, I saw a smile upon her face that I had placed there. It was a heady feeling, indeed.

"No." I took the opportunity to grasp her hands in mine. "This is very new to me, Hermione, and I must be honest with you. Given the difference in our ages, one would usually expect me to be the one with the maturity and experience to know how to proceed, but I have never had what one would consider to be an adult relationship."

She took me by surprise and leant forward in order to place a kiss upon my cheek.

"We can take things slowly," she said reassuringly. "It isn't like I have the most stellar record when it comes to this sort of thing. I probably shouldn't have told you that, should I?"

I expect it was meant as a rhetorical question, but I felt the need to answer. "Please be honest with me, in all things. I have had enough of lies to last a lifetime."

She smiled. "I think I will make us a cup of tea, if that's okay with you."

As I watched her walk to the kitchen, I couldn't believe my luck. It hardly seemed possible that such a desirable, intelligent and considerate woman would be interested in me. I still couldn't fathom why, but that wasn't for me to question her motives. I had to learn to trust.

I glanced back to the mantle at her photographs and pondered what those people would think of her being with me. Her parents would be less than impressed I was certain, but her friends, that would be another matter entirely. The pictures of the Potters and the Weasleys, with their own children, demonstrated to me that they were still reasonably close. Any relationship would come to their attention, sooner rather than later.

"Here you go, just the way you like it," she said as she handed me a mug of tea. "I brought you some biscuits, in case you fancied something sweet."

We sat together on her sofa talking of all manner of things such as our respective childhoods, our parents and our first experiences with magic. In many ways we were similar, both only children, bookish and influenced by the Muggle World we grew up in. Thankfully her parents were considerably more supportive of her academic pursuits than mine had been.

In other ways we were opposites; I knew for certain that I would have ended up in prison if I had been a Muggle, whereas she would probably have been a promising academic. Not too dissimilar from her magical life, as it happened.

"I don't know, you're a smart man, I think you would have figured it out before it went that far, Severus."

I was touched by her faith in me; dare I say that I felt my heart swell at her words.

Our teas were long finished when I noticed it was almost three o'clock in the morning. "I had better be getting home, its unbelievably late." I stood and reached over to the table for my cloak.

"I meant what I said earlier, you can stay, that is, if you want to."

I looked back at her as she stood from the sofa and walked the short distance over to me. "Do you think that's wise?" I asked. "In the interests of taking things slowly."

"Just because I think that's the right thing to do, doesn't mean it is what I want," she smiled, somewhat nervously. "I have waited a long time for this and now that I have you, I don't want to let you go."

"Just how long have you been looking at me as a potential romantic conquest, Miss Granger?" I raised an enquiring eyebrow.

"Probably since you dangled that spleen over my cauldron," she admitted.

"_That _was the moment you decided we were interested in me?" I asked, incredulously. "You are a strange woman, indeed."

"What can I say? I like a challenge," she admitted. "And what's more of a challenge than a boss that doesn't even want to be in the same room as me."

I felt guilty, remembering her first few months at the company.

"I wasn't having a go, Severus. You don't really speak to anyone apart from Garrick, but I can see that it's just your way, even if you did want Garrick to sack me on my first day."

"Must you remind me of all of my mistakes?" I asked, rhetorically.

Thankfully she laughed at my clumsy attempt at humour and so I reached across to hold her face in my hands and bestow upon her lips, our first kiss. It had been a long time since I had kissed a woman, but her enthusiasm did not appear to be affected by my lack of practice. Her lips were soft just as I had expected. Her hands gripped at the lapels of my jacket before she moved them to my waist in order to pull us closer together.

I was the one to bring things to an end as I reminded myself that 'taking things slowly' wasn't going to come to fruition if we carried on. Her quiet whimper as we moved apart almost broke me entirely.

"I will see you at the laboratory on Monday and perhaps you will allow me to take you out for dinner one night during the week?" I asked. "If you are not otherwise engaged, of course."

"I would like that very much."

"Good." I nodded, approvingly. "I do feel it might be wise to keep this to ourselves for a while, to see how things go."

"Yes, that makes sense," she agreed.

I picked my cloak up from the floor where I had carelessly dropped it and pulled it over my shoulders. As I walked out the door I looked back and kissed her, once more, before taking my leave.

SS

That was ten months ago and as I write this, I admit to being happier than I had ever expected to be in my life. Hermione moved into my house four months after that night and we were engaged just a few weeks later. I understood what she had meant then when she had told me that she didn't want to let go of something she had waited so long to experience. I had waited my whole life to find someone who loved me as much as I loved them and who understood me and accepted me, for who I was, and not what I could do for them.

Today is the day I marry - a day I never thought I would ever experience.

I must go now; Garrick has just informed me that my bride has arrived, and I wouldn't want to be late and disappoint her now.

_FIN_

_A/N: My next project is in the works but is longer than this story and is not yet finished. I will continue to work on it; as soon as it is complete, at least in draft form, I will post the first chapter._


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